LIVED is just DEVIL spelt backwards

no life

Thu, 13 Jan 2005 23:02:15 GMT

lol. yes i am now writing in both livejournal! AND xanga. cuz im that awesome. ill type more later.

:'(

Sun, 29 Aug 2004 23:26:44 GMT

well back from vaca all happity until i opened my email wit ben calling me a b****. n finding out im no longer on his friends list, n findin out he may not b goin wit marj n then none of this wouldve happened. so now im not happy nemore cuz i feel bad for blowing up. ummm gimme a call whenever. nuttin else to say right now :(

so bored!!!

Fri, 06 Aug 2004 17:44:38 GMT

umm....SO BORED! lol. i have no life!

talked to sue today! im goin to sleepover at her house on tuesday, that should be fun! lol. play ddr wit her bro and friend. talked to andy bout his new fone. sounds cool. supposedly he can take pictures wit it so i think he should take a pic of me n sue or whoever and make them his background. that be so cool!

nuttin really new cept bens a butt. lol. we broke up by him saying he aint ready for a relationship and bein singles to much fun. and then like 3 days later he's dating marjorie!! lol. w/e. he has no personality, and doesnt talk as much as i do so it wasnt that great/fun. i need a guy who's funny, has a good body, sweet, and nice! IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK FOR!!?? lol.. YES! lol. w/e.

im happily single now! WOO HOO! lol.

ok now off the whole guys topic so u ppl dont think im obsessed...

umm played some football wit my cousins, that was fun. and then played this weird football version in the pool but yah that was weird so i barely played. walked my puppy she is so cute I LOVE HER! lol. sorry i really like dogs!

found out chris is comin to town!! YAY! we're gonna hang out so that should be fun!!

im scared.......

Thu, 10 Jun 2004 21:09:33 GMT

check this out......

twizzler22's LJ stalker is funkmasterw7!

funkmasterw7 is stalking you because they heard you are awesome in bed, and they want to find out. They are also deluded!

LJ Stalker Finder
From Go-Quiz.com

DC!

Sun, 06 Jun 2004 15:39:26 GMT

ok well DC was overall OK. it wasn't as great as kristen's and dougs were. lol. i wonder why! hmm it was overally awesome thou. except the dance, i hated that. basically cuz of jen and ben (hey they rhyme) only cuz jen was all over him with her feet and he didn't care but w/e :(. also after the dance we all went to our rooms and corey went to bed at midnight! who does that!?!?!? lol. and then sue, christa and i had so much fun w/ goldfish! lol. that was SO FUN AND FUNNY in a sorta gross way. but that's another story for another time but i bet a couple guys if they knew, would've wished they were there. lol. christa and sue knows how funny it was. and after the godfish fun christa went to bed and sue and i stayed up which was also so much fun! cuz since sue and i were talking on one bed, lets just say i fell of the bed and hit my head on the wall 7 times. yes 7. lol. all cuz sue "thought there was a wall there" yah right. lol. and then she was like "katie.....katie where'd u go......katie" ;p. we also made prank calls to doug's room, andy's room, and kev's room. it was so funny. althou cassius was being a butt. lol. i love that.......

took my placement test and BOMBED it. w/e. im still in the school. lol. but i met this nice guy named chris. he was so nice and funny. lol. also he lives in..........CRANFORD! lol. chrita may get that but w/e. so we were jokin about stalking eachother. lol. it was fun.

i made 3 poems which stink squared but w/e. ill write one of them down l8r.

also i found out the scariest thing ALIVE! lol. not only is it bad enough that i don't know if he likes me or not, and gettin mixed signals. but.................I HAVE COMPETITION FOR HIM! and im not exactly ummmmm equal to her. so if he finds out, he may choose her or neither i dunno. but she is so much better then me................. i hate this........ :*(

too many voices........

Wed, 02 Jun 2004 19:54:25 GMT

lol. ok well WAY too many ppl are reading my linejournal. aka people i don't want to read it lol. ok so im now makin all my provate entries only able for my friends to see. aka christa,doug and kristen. if you would like to be on my friends list plz tell me and ill put u on it. luv yaz!

o no......

Mon, 31 May 2004 16:10:49 GMT

ok well i just read christa's last entry and i think i know who she was talkin bout. and im so sorry cuz i think i was one of those ppl. i really am sorry and i guess i never realized that i was doin that. We love u so much and in case u were wonderin when we're talking u at least come up once at the LEAST! and we never say nething bad we just like to think of u. i love u! lol. ill try to keep u in if i ever do exclude u. if i do and don't notice just kick me HARD! lol.

grr i want to sit with sue or christa on the way to washington and back. i think it would be fine if I sat with one on the way there and then the other on the way back. but now sue and christa decided (w/o me) that i should sit with corey on the way there. and i love corey and all. but sometimes she can be SO serious and i HATE being serious. or she'll just talk about the guys and other stuff like a water ballon contest only instead of us in white shirts we would wear bathing suits and yah.....cold water.......ummm yah kristen knows the rest. and she isn't as much fun as sue and christa. i hope they'll change their minds and let me sit with one on the way there and then switch on the way back. cuz i love them both EQUALLY!

im still shaky on askin ben to dance cuz ive gathered evidence that he does NOT like me:
1. once when andy thought i liked him, he told ben, and ben told him to tell me that he liked some girl in scotch plains/new prov
2. he NEVER seems happy to see me
3. he avoids me
4. once i said i have to write u anotha note and im almost positive he said "darnit" only the other word lol

i dunno i don't think he likes me........should i still ask him?

d.c.

Sat, 29 May 2004 14:39:22 GMT

ok well ive decided to ask ben to dance at d.c. i hope he says yes but even if he says no, at least id know that he doesn't like me and i don't have to keep questioning it. and even if he says yes he may not like me, he could just be doin it to be nice. :*-(

thing from kristens lj

Thu, 27 May 2004 20:20:41 GMT

1. Copy this whole list into your journal
2. Put ***…*** around the things that are true about you
3. Whatever you don't bold are false
01. ***When I was younger, I made some bad decisions***
02. ***I don't watch much TV these days***
03. ***I love broccoli***
04. ***I love sleeping***
05. ***I have loads of books***
06. I once slept in a toilet
07. ***I love playing video games***
08. I adore marijuana
09. I watch porn movies
10. I watch "One Tree Hill"
11. ***I like sharks***
12. I love spiders, I think they're adorable, especially the ones with bright colors on their backs
13. I was born without hair and I still have no hair
14. I like George W. Bush
15. ***People are cool - sometimes***
16. ***I have changed a lot mentally over the last year***
17. I have a Toyota and a pool
18. ***I have a lot to learn*** (well DUH)
19. I carry my knife everywhere with myself
20. Im really, really smart (well not really smart but people tell me i'm smart, so just a little bit)
21. ***I've never broken someone's bones*** (christa'l a liar she did break my nose!!!!!!!!)
22. ***I have a secret***
23. I hate rain
24. ***I drink health juice***
25. ***Punk rock rules-sometimes
26. I hate Bill Gates
27. I love Vietnamese food-it's all food to me.
28. I would hate to be famous
29. ***I am not a morning person***
30. I have semi-long hair
31. ***I have short hair***
32. ***I have potential***
33. I'm pure Afghan
34. ***My legs are two different sizes I refuse to believe my legs are identical***
35. ***I have a twin***
36. I wear those long ass socks for school
37. ***I can roll my tongue***
38. I like the way that I look
39. ***Im obsessed with Italian food***
40. I know how to French braid
41. ***I can be pessimistic or optimistic whenever I want***
42. ***I have a lot of mood swings***
43. ***I skateboard/snowboard***
44. I think that skateboarders are hot
45. I'm in a band
46. ***I have talent***
47. ***I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have***
48. I think that I'm popular
49. ***I am currently single***
50. I can't swim
51. ***My favorite color is blue, red, or white***
52. I practically live in sweatshirts
53. ***I love to shop***
54. I would classify myself as either punk or Goth
55. ***I would classify myself as ghetto*** LOL
56. I'm a prep, shop at Abercrombie, and ADMIT IT.
57. I'm obsessed with my xanga.
58. I don't hate anyone
59. ***I know how to square dance***
60. I have a unibrow
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mom
62. I have a cell phone (im gettin on grad. weekend YAY! ill show u alls it once i get it!!!)
63. ***I believe in God.***
64. ***I watch MTV on a daily basis***
65. I know how to play the tuba
66. I need coffee to live
67. ***I have had a boyfriend before***
68. I've rejected someone before i didnt mean to
69. ***I currently like someone and they have no idea that I like them*** (i don't know if ben knows....)
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. ***I want to have kids when I get older***
72. ***I have changed a diaper before*** not well...
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Hilary Duff fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything (hmm…lets c, any wash detergent but tide, dust, pollen, and other stuff...
77. ***I love Broadway plays, and have been to at least 3***
78. ***I have no idea who the 38th president was.***
79. ***I plan on seeing Mary Kate and Ashley's new movie***
80. I am completely shy around the opposite sex am i ever shy at all?
81. I'm online 24/7- Yeah, I know, I know- It's pathetic.
82. I have at least 25 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party
84. ***I loved Rush Hour***
85. ***I've read the entire Harry Potter trilogy***
86. ***If I were a dwarf, I would be dopey***
87. When I was a kid I played with G.I. Joe
88. I don't mind country music....well i guess i dont89.
89. ***I would die for my friends***
90. ***I think that Juicy Fruit is the best type of gum***
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. ***I'm obsessive and paranoid and extremely jumpy***
93. I would love to be demi Moore because Ashton kutchers a major hottie
94. I love the beetles
95. ***I know all the words to 'I'm a Barbie girl'***
96. ***Halloween is awesome because you get free candy...*** 97. I watch Sponge bob Square pants and I like it.
98. I have to fart
99. I want this damned thing to be over!
100. ***I'm happy*** sorta.......

o yah christa dont ask ben if he'll dance with me cuz mona may and i don't want him to get annoyed or pressured to do sumtin he doesn't. (which im sure he doesn't but maybe he does i dunno nemore............. :'-( )

friends only

Mon, 24 May 2004 19:32:35 GMT

ok well now i made all the important ones friends only! (christa,kristen,doug) lol. but other ones that i don't care about will be public. luv ya'll!

pic!

Fri, 21 May 2004 01:14:35 GMT

wanted to see if my pic worked so ill go see if it does lol.

smartness

Wed, 19 May 2004 19:38:37 GMT

ok lol ive decided to listen to doug. (i know) i think im just going to keep being myself and being nice to ben since i reallt like him. and im just goin to have to find a way to get around cassius. lol. ill figure it out since im just so smart and stuff! (there is hope) lol.

just keep swimming just keep swimming

love u alls! lol. and kristen who's so awesome! and christa for being there 4 me! and doug for letting me see the top of his head! yay!

but...

Tue, 18 May 2004 23:10:37 GMT

u can say he's blind or w/e but in the end he still won't like me... :'-(. i wish he would though.

love u all!

just keep swimming.......just keep swimming

o yah and today was free hug tuesday and when i hugged ben he actually hugged back! (its a first) my guess is he was trying to be nice......)

happy/sad

Mon, 17 May 2004 21:54:39 GMT

ok well im not depressed nemores. lol. and also more and more problems for me. yipee! (that rhymes!) i should be a poet!

today i told christa and doug who i like, which is ben in case u were wondering. but i know he doesn't like me cuz andy told me he liked some new prov/scotch plains girl. so i have no chance. (like in most of the guys i like.) so ill just keep my fingers crossed! g2g buh bye!

depressed :'''-''(''

Sat, 08 May 2004 02:16:01 GMT

i feel so bad, ugly, sad and nething bad. i just feel like im dying on the inside. and while this is happening i want to help one of my best-friends from becoming what i am, I've tried to hide how bad i feel but i don't think i can do it for much longer. my self-esteem is close to gone. i feel so unneeded and just like im in the way. i just have lost my spirit and i need to go find it QUICK!

Sat, 08 May 2004 01:59:33 GMT

ok well ive had my ups and downs lately and im just so........i dunno. I'm doing pretty well in school and stuff. I LOVE MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY! But I feel incomplete. Somehow I just don't feel as happy as I used to! I don't know why.......so i made a list of reasons why i may not feel as happy:

Don't have a "boyfriend"
Sometimes ignored at lunch table
Tired (alot)
Too much work/quizzes/tests
Having alot of work done on my house so we're real busy
Just plain out unhappy sometimes......

that's all i have and i still can't figure it out...... I dunno lol.

So on a better note! lol. SCHOOL'S ALMOST IS OUT! lol. yay!

omg......no one believes me!

Tue, 04 May 2004 19:23:34 GMT

ok well since i didn't specify who red sox is ill specify now. red sox is one of my cuz's friends who i met at my cuz's communion after party thing. i call him red sox cuz he was wearing a red sox t-shirt that day. i for some reason every1 thinks i like this guy named "ben". i don't know why but they do. he's nice but NO i don't have a crush on him but no1 believes me......no one listens

Confusidisal

Mon, 03 May 2004 21:14:01 GMT

Lol. ok well im very confused now......VERY! well u know **red sox**, well at track today he was really mean and him and all his friends were like pushing people and cursing. AND I HATE THAT! lol. so i was thinking about why i "like" him and i could barely think of one. so i decided maybe i didn't really really like him maybe i just wanna be friends with him. so yah. and in case u were wondering if i think i like some1 new well ive always had a tiny crush on one guy and i dunno maybe itll become bigger but right now its just a little crush......

UPDATE!

Fri, 30 Apr 2004 23:44:07 GMT

ok well ive now joined track and i love it so much! lol. hmm my last entry i said i was being made fun of alot, well now its just loud noises as i walk by and them occasionally throwing stuff at me. and what REALLY bothers me is that since alot of people HATE mike and know that i once "went out" with him they decide to hate me before they even know me! so now some people on track hate me just because of him! ugh...... but now i don't like josh (i used to) i just like him as a friend. and now i like some1 else and i have o idea why. i just feel sumtin when he's there i dunno. it's scary. and like i have no idea if he likes me back so w/e! lol. also i think this guy named nick (andy's friend) likes me. like i gave him and andy a hug and when i gave nick a hug he hugged back and i mean HUGGED BACK like TIGHT! lol. i was like umm ok.... im all confused................W/E!

This stinks! Times a MILLION!

Sun, 07 Mar 2004 18:05:13 GMT

Ok well this STINKS big time! ever since i broke it off with mike more 7th graders are being mean to me and so are his friends and him. He DEFITNETLY does not like me anymore. lol. and then artie (the guy who was all sweet) and mike, andre, nieko, and JP sent a harsh email. lol. so i sent a harsh one back and so far no reply back lol. (yes) and once i was walking with clare and julia and a group of 7th grade guys were like hey katie! and i was like how do i know u?? and they said that they knew mike, and that mike had said i was the ugliest piece of crap he's ever seen. So i said to clare and julia well obviously he hasn't looked in a mirror lately. And then one of them was like Katie WAIT i love u! lol! and so calre just started laughing right there, and while i was getting into my mom's car one of them was like i sit at mike's science table and all he talks about is....YOU! i was like wow....... either he sorta still likes me or he's just a little obsessive. lol. what do u think? im so confused. and i hate being made fun of (in that way) like im fine with my friends and i joking around and doub calling me and sue fat or stupid. but when people i don't even know start coming up to me and being mean. that's were i draw the line. WHAT SHOULD I DO!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

so happy!

Sun, 29 Feb 2004 01:38:36 GMT

i am SO happy i figured out aim express! so now i can aim my friends if they would just get on right now! GRR! lol. i work it out and they aint there. lol. of course....

SO weird......

Fri, 27 Feb 2004 22:57:23 GMT

omg this is so freaky-deaky! ;p. ok well today after school I dropped of my books and candy things in my car and decided to walk home since it was such a nice day. lol. so when i got to a church by my school I decided to see how fast I could run to 2 lights from where i was. well when i got to the light i looked behind me, i dunno why, lol. ok well guess who i saw................ok ill just tell you MIKE AND ANDRE! i guess they were walking to mike's house for b-ball or sumtin. well they saw me and just started talking (probably bout me) lol. i couldn't hear them since i was out of ear shot. lol. ok well i didn't want to make it a big deal so i just kept walking and acted like i didn't care. i then said hi to all these strangers. and then i turned at the light to get to my house. and mike to get to his house goes straight at that light. well, THEY DIDN'T GO STARIGHT! lol. i was like where are they going? so i just started making dialog for them lol like in that movie thing for whose line is it anyway. so i was like "O mike rub me right there again PUHLEASE!" "not right now i like it to be dirtier" lol. im so sick. and then i decided that the way they were going they'd have to go past the high school so i decided to turn into the high school and act like i was waiting for my sis's bus. well they turned into the highschool too! and some girl said "ANDRE! why are u here?!?!" and he was like "uh..waiting 4 u!" lol. so i just left and walked home while they were talking with her. now is it just me or was it like they were stalking me?!?!?! lol. that's so scary............

I'm so HAPPY!

Tue, 24 Feb 2004 12:27:42 GMT

i've nevere ever been complimented on my looks or really ANYTHING (except by my parents) but never by someone who i don't know or even by some1 i do know. and well i feel really complimented after i read this convo that christa (one of my bestest friends) sent to me:

(a = artie (sisters friends brother) k = kel and c = me)
"do u know katie?" (a)
"yeah" (k)
"does she go over ur house a lot?" (a)
"uhhh, i guess" (k)
"is she a geek?" (a)
"no." (k)
"isn't she going out with mike?" (a)
**i come in**
"why would u say that?" (c)
"she can do much better" (a)

Now this convo is touching but confusing. 1) how did kelly know he was talking about me when he just said Katie 2) why does artie say that? how does he know? I don't even know who he is!!!! Ill ask Christa to show him to me 2day at school. (yay! im not considered a geek! and i can do mush better!!!) yay! lol.

o yah im taking his advice and breaking up with mike 2day. wish me luck!

scared.......

Fri, 20 Feb 2004 19:28:20 GMT

ok, well you may be wondering why I'm breaking up with mike. well it's just not that same anymore. I mean he used to call everyday and email me every single day at least 10 times. He also used to say I love you and send sweet e-cards. Well ever since he decided to break up with me and then he changed his mind, it hasn't been the same. I'm lucky to get one email in 3 days and he never calls. He doesn't say I love you anymore, and he gets mad at me all the time. Right now I think he's mad at me for either "ditching" him from walking home, (it wasn't my fault clare was all mad and practically killed me, and said i couldn't walk home, and i didn't want to get her any mad then she already was). or because he thought i sent andre an email and not to him. (who i in fact like more then him)

My friends say it's the best to do it person to person. But I'm really scared to do it that way. Or even to do it on the phone. Cuz then I can actually see or hear their reaction. Instead of just reading it in an email or hearing it from my friends. I don't like to hurt ppl!

All i have to do is keep telling myself that he's usually fine with hurting me (like one time he and his friends were walking in the hallways, during the break up time, and andre said well speaking of garbage) it really hurt me, so he doesn't really care about my feelings.

And you also may be thinking if Andre said that then why do i like him? well i like him because I've seen him when he doesn't exactly hate me, and he's REALLY nice and funny. But now he'll hate me and be mean to me......."fun"

why me?

Fri, 20 Feb 2004 00:35:32 GMT

well i was looking at these pistures from Final Fantasy and I noticed how pretty they were. I mean like really really pretty. And i found myself wishing I was that pretty. Which is really depressing, for i was wish to look like 2 girls who didn't even exist. Why do girls always want to be prettier? I know im not pretty, but why can't we just live with ourselves? What is so difficult for us to just accept how we are? I mean what's so wrong with me that I have to wish to look like a girl who doesn't even exist. Or why do i find myself wishing I had her hair, or her abs, or some other thing. Why? So right now im going to try to accept me as i am. And just feel okay with myself, a not that pretty, ok at sports, and other stuff girl. SO HELLO WORLD, THIS IS KATIE AND HEAR ME ROAR! lol. just had to let that out! im good now......